TASTES GOOD LIKE A CIGARETTE SHOULD
January 31st, 2010A travel diversion…
Snooping around in some boxes recently, looking for some old research material for a new project I’m pursuing, I found an old thoroughly beaten steno pad. I still use those things for notes and jots and such (old habits die hard), but this particular one contained thoughts, diversions, ideas and sights from in and around London, England circa 1984.
I was living in Camden Town at the time and of course took the Underground (London Tube) everywhere. On one particularly clear evening I was taking the Northern Line from Camden to Hampstead for a party at a fellow expat’s house and it was SRO the whole way.
A young girl with blue hair peaking out beneath her porkpie hat was playing Kate Bush a tad too loudly on her equally blue ghetto blaster. The classically-dressed elderly woman I couldn’t help but rub elbows with in the cramped car kept alternating daggers between the girl and the ‘infernal’ cassette player. To no avail, of course; no one else seemed to mind. Between “Sat In Your Lap” and “There Goes A Tenner”, I spotted a Winston cigarette advertisement above the sliding doors and began to laugh. The elderly woman thought perhaps I was laughing at her inability to save the youth of the U.K., but when I pointed to the ad she too smiled and then began to laugh. Soon, everyone who wasn’t holding on for dear life from the Tube’s lurches and jerks was laughing. I had to write it down.
Tobacco advertising of any kind was illegal at the time. You could show a logo or a name with the brand style typeface, but not the package of cigarettes itself; certainly not any information on the ‘positive’ effects of smoking. So, presented with this potentially insurmountable marketing challenge the following is what the advertising agency handling the UK Winston cigarette campaign came up with.
- “We’re not allowed to tell you anything about Winston cigarettes. So, here are the answers to those questions we’re all asking about…”
1. Yes.
2. Consult a doctor.
3. 1.66666
4. A waxy substance.
5. In Rio de Janeiro.
6. She does.
7. Consenting males.
8. A hollow gourd.
9. Aileron or flap.
10. 4A and 6C.
11. With its snout.
12. Lederhosen.
13. Methane.
14. Pluto and Uranus.
15. Nobody knows.
16. Metatarsals.
17. The parting gives it away.
18. 6 1/4 inches.
19. Trick question… both.
20. The vole.
It turned out ‘Kate’ and I were going to the same party.
[REW]
The things you see! Foreign adverts can be particularly humorous. Any tales to tell…? Comments below.
